Posted in English, Thought/Story

Sadly, you are not the real you!

In life, we often meet people who are not the real person as seen as they appear in front of us. People who seem nice, kind, always smile and speak good things about us, when around us. But, when they are not around us, they talk different things; worse, they are talking about what suppose to be secret that we trust them to be kept safe. How and when can we really trust other people? We have known some people for quite some times and believed that they could be trusted through some our life’s experiences together.  Somehow, over the time, they have changed, sometimes in the way that we could not believe that they could be the person that they become right now. We could not believe that they could talk that way about us; bad things that either they realize it or not, it hurts us. People change, true. I read it often, in fact, I ever wrote that before. But, when the significant changes happen to people which affect us in terrible way, it is really shocking. We do not believe it; feel that it is more like bad dreams that will go away when we wake up. Then, when we realize that it is really happening, we could only think about it sadly; sometimes amaze to see that is the real color of the person who we thought we know for long time.

That makes me thinking, are there anyone who we can really trust completely? After how long until we can see the true color of other people? How do we know that people will not talk bad things behind us or stab our back? Should we always be worry or alert every time we interact with other people? I just wondering ….


Posted in English, Thought/Story

It’s a woman thing !

Name one thing that most women dislike but nervously worry when it does not arrive yet? Yes, that monthly women’s special guest. The guest that comes uninvited every month and to some women give a hard time even before it arrives. It’s like saying, “I am the most important thing in your life and you have to be ready to welcome me”. Many symptoms, both physical and emotional symptoms which called a PMS  that often makes us to put a lot of things on hold as we can not get through the day when it attacks. Acne, feeling tired, trouble sleeping, upset stomach, bloating, constipation/diarrhea, headache/backache, food cravings, joint or muscle pain, trouble with concentration/memory, tension, irritability, mood swings, anxiety or depression, stomach cramps, and maybe more. Those are some problems that have to be taken by some women, if I can not say most women, every month. Some women are so lucky that never experience a PMS, but others get a serious PMS, some may never leave the bed for few days.

I guess it is true what people say that women are special, women are strong human being. Have you ever read the quote says:

” I bleed every month but do not die. How am not I magic?”.

Quite funny, but how true is that?


Posted in English, Thought/Story

Easy like Sunday morning …

Sunday certainly becomes the most favorite day for most people. Wake up late, lazy morning, having a breakfast at the bed with the loved one, or you can just stay in the bed for the whole day, do everything you want to do without any interruption, reading, watching old favorite movie series like Friends (remind me how old I am hehehe) accompanied by a cup of coffee and cake (Sunday is no diet day), or you can spend it on the pool getting on the sun-tan like someone does today at our building pool on the 10th floor, then continue to have an easy – slowly day till end of day. Yes, Sunday is the best day between all the seven days, that is why people creates that words “Easy like Sunday Morning”.


My best favorite time on the easy Sunday is in the night. As I live in the building which integrated with mall on the below, my area is always crowded and noisy, everyday. Night is not always quiet as I can still hear the traffic noise from my 30s floor. Well…Jakarta is never sleep, that’s what people say. Still Sunday is better day. Less people go to the mall, less traffic, less noise. And in the end of the day, on the easy Sunday, when most people are already being at their home, mall’s closed, then I will have a quiet, peaceful and relaxing night.

Have an easy Sunday, everyone!

Posted in English, Thought/Story

Crying…? Why not?

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One time, long time ago, there was someone said to me that as a person I am too sensitive, that was because I shed tear easily. And I admitted it. I was, and I am still now. I am sensitive person, I may be a highly sensitive person. I remember when I was kid, every time I watched sad movie on the television with my younger sisters and parents; I was the only one who cried. And my sister would make fun of me for being cry over fiction on the television. Every time ….even when the movie was a silly, ridiculous and no make sense, I would still cry over sad scene. That’s why I did not like watching television. I was more into books, novels and magazine. And I love reading novel series most. When I like certain novel series, I would borrow each seri from library as many as possible and read them till finish. Sometimes after school, I just stayed in my room reading them, forgot about anything else; time, food and even bath lol…. I would move only by something that needed immediate or urgent attention, like a pee :). And If that was a sad novel, I would cry all the time I read it. The next morning, I would get puffy, swollen eyes that were not easy to cover up. Well… I have not been introduced with any make up, so it was not easy to hide it.

When I grown up as of an adult person, I thought that I will be less sensitive. But, no, it is not. Once I went to watch a movie with my 9 years old niece; a cartoon movie with title “a Little Mermaid”. After movie finished and we went out of the movie studio, she said, “were you crying? Your nose and eyes went red” … I could not lie, the evidence was there… I said yes, then we laughed together hahaha. There is another movie that really moved me, called “Life is Beautiful” with Guido as main character played by Roberto Benigni. It supposed to be a comedy-drama movie. But, again when there is a “drama”, I could never be able to hold back my tears. When I watched it for the first time, I was started to cry from the beginning of the movie was played, and my tears were not stopped till it finished. I was emotionally drowning between the sad – grief – heartbroken feeling as of why life is so cruel to them, and amused by the way Guido sees the biggest tragedy that hit his family and how he translates the tragedy and life bitterness into humor, to comfort his little son. That is really great movie about life, love and humor. I watch it many times, and still cry over it.

Yes, I admit it that I am still emotionally easy to move, even now. I think that is the way I understand other people sadness, feeling sympathy and a response as “I feel you”. I may never be less sensitive ever, but hey …. I am human; human has a feeling and I just express the feeling, sometimes loudly:). One thing I know that crying is good; it releases stress hormones and other toxins, the best mechanism to self-soothe and helps to ease pain. So crying …why not?


Posted in English, Thought/Story

The almost forgotten handwriting

Lately, I notice that my handwriting becomes so ugly that makes me wondering when was the last time I can write by hand as nice as when I was in elementary school. And I could not remember it. Seems that I have lost my ability to write by hand in nice way. It is too shame, especially when I remember how difficult to learn and write a good handwriting when I was in the school very long time ago. A period of time when students were graded for good handwriting which was essential. Get me to think about the urge of starting to practice writing by hand again.

Some of you may think that a good handwriting skill is not relevant anymore. We live in the era of speed and instant. Everything must be created as fast as possible. And you can produce everything in nice or pretty way instantly. There are huge numbers of applications/software to modify or make things prettier. It is not only in writing, but also in photography, design and many more. How many of us that ever send a personal email or create cards using Microsoft Word with “handwriting look-alike” fonts, at least once, instead of write a handwritten letter on the piece of paper? Have you ever tried to use any application in your handphone to make your photo prettier, put some light/contrast, do cropping, etc? I believe all us have done that.

Those kind of applications are useful and make our works easier and better. However, they make us lazy. I aware that my fingers become lazy and prefer writing on the computer. I even write my “to do list”, “groceries list” and other lists on “Notes” application in my handphone. I am less worry when the photos I took are not that nice. I can improve them using many applications such as photoshop, insta-beauty and more. In fact, now, many handphones are equipped with camera that can make any photo beautifully. How convenient is that?

Handwriting, indeed is almost forgotten. Handwriting arts become out of dates, but to me it is more like “a vintage” skill that one day, I believe, will become relevant again, or booming or trending, whatever you call it. I hope!

Posted in English, Thought/Story

Shoulder to cry on


shoulder to cry on, bleebloob, this & that, shanti1507, susanti1507, shanti_1507, eat & stay, jakarta, praying, blog, blogger, blogging, reality, life, problems, GodDaily life, routines sometimes do not end as we expect it. When we leave home in the morning for work, school, or any activity, we always hope that things will be running smoothly, so that we can return home again satisfiedly, knowing that we have been through the day, done our job, fulfilled our obligations in the best we can, then we do our activities again tomorrow with the same expectation.

However, sometimes thing is not happening in the way that we want it to be. We drive carefully, but still an accident happens, as there is always a careless people who is so selfish and not thinking of other people’s safety. We have prepared well for a meeting with potential customer, but still received rejections. Our boss got angry with us for stupid things that have been done by another staff. We thought that we have worked and performed well, but somebody else got promoted. And another more difficulties/problems arise that hit us unexpectedly. We mostly can not predict and avoid any accidents, disappointments, unfair treatments from people or other terrible things that happen in our life. It does not matter if they are easy problems or the biggest problem we ever had, we have to deal with it, manage and solve it at our best. That is called life, a reality that any human, ready or not have to face it.

When all that terrible things happen, by the end of the day, we can only expect to have shoulder to cry on. Parents, sister/brother, husband/wife or friends could be the kind person to share all our problems with. But, when we can not talk to any of them, what shall we do? When things are too heavy to carry by our own, where should we run to? For me, I always end up to cry to God. A long-good cry that can always lift my heavy thoughts and ease my mind. Sometimes it does not solve the problem, but at least I can see things more clearly afterwards. It is the purest, non-judgmental, and most genuine communication/relation that human being could ever have, a connection with their God. 


Posted in English, Thought/Story

When Life Requires a Detour

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I was preparing salad for dinner last night. I was tearing cabbage’s leaves off before rinsing them one by one, when I saw a little worm inside the leaves. It was a little bit disturbing to find the worm as I have chosen the cabbage carefully. It is organic vegetable and looks fresh, clean, no hole on the outer leave, not even any mark of worm’s activities shown on the leave. It made me to pay more attention to wash the rest of vegetables, each leave thoroughly to make sure no more worm.

Somehow, that process reminds me of this life. We, people always plan how our life will be. At certain age, we go to pre-school, then elementary school, high school, and college/university. Then, we plan to find a job, after getting a job, we plan to get married then have children. Those are common steps that have been planned by majority people. But, along the way, not all people accomplished everything they have planned carefully before. Some did not get into a famous/favorite school because of the rank, or fail getting a job in the company they wish for. Others fail in their marriage life, or unable to have any children for many reason. There are many difficulties and unfortunate events in this life that we have to deal with, sometimes only surprise us, other time may knock us down till we think that it is the worst experience ever or it is the lowest moment in our life. The life occurrences that challenge us to make some detours from our perfect plans, or we even have to start all over again.

It is just like the cabbage and its leaves. Although we have chosen the perfect one, it does not guarantee that there’s no worm inside the leaves. We just need to tear them off one by one, rinse each leave thoroughly to make sure no dirt/worm left. Sometimes we have to cut away some un-fresh leaves, to get all fresh and clean leaves of vegetables and have a bowl of healthy-fresh salad. Or maybe when the leaves turn out all rotten/un-fresh inside, so that it is not possible to make enough fulfilling salad, we can always just switch to make scrambled eggs instead, and leave to eat salad plan for another day :).