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When Life Requires a Detour

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I was preparing salad for dinner last night. I was tearing cabbage’s leaves off before rinsing them one by one, when I saw a little worm inside the leaves. It was a little bit disturbing to find the worm as I have chosen the cabbage carefully. It is organic vegetable and looks fresh, clean, no hole on the outer leave, not even any mark of worm’s activities shown on the leave. It made me to pay more attention to wash the rest of vegetables, each leave thoroughly to make sure no more worm.

Somehow, that process reminds me of this life. We, people always plan how our life will be. At certain age, we go to pre-school, then elementary school, high school, and college/university. Then, we plan to find a job, after getting a job, we plan to get married then have children. Those are common steps that have been planned by majority people. But, along the way, not all people accomplished everything they have planned carefully before. Some did not get into a famous/favorite school because of the rank, or fail getting a job in the company they wish for. Others fail in their marriage life, or unable to have any children for many reason. There are many difficulties and unfortunate events in this life that we have to deal with, sometimes only surprise us, other time may knock us down till we think that it is the worst experience ever or it is the lowest moment in our life. The life occurrences that challenge us to make some detours from our perfect plans, or we even have to start all over again.

It is just like the cabbage and its leaves. Although we have chosen the perfect one, it does not guarantee that there’s no worm inside the leaves. We just need to tear them off one by one, rinse each leave thoroughly to make sure no dirt/worm left. Sometimes we have to cut away some un-fresh leaves, to get all fresh and clean leaves of vegetables and have a bowl of healthy-fresh salad. Or maybe when the leaves turn out all rotten/un-fresh inside, so that it is not possible to make enough fulfilling salad, we can always just switch to make scrambled eggs instead, and leave to eat salad plan for another day :).

 

 

Nothing is Permanent in this Life

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Lately, I get sad news quite often, about people I know who passed away. And most of them were caused by serious illness, such as cancer. Some of them were quite young, though; and one of them was single. It is always sad to receive news about people’s death, especially if they were related to you, even if the relationship was not too personal. And such sad news always remind me of several things that sometime we forget about, among other things:

  • Life is so unpredictable. We never know when our time in this world is up. Our life could end any time God wants to. You may live today, strong and healthy, but we never know if we still live tomorrow. Question is, are we ready if our time is up tomorrow? Will we leave unfinished matters or debts or troubles to our beloved family if our life comes to end suddenly? What have we done to prepare about our next journey? Do that kind of questions ever come to your mind, even at glance? There are many questions about death that we can not answer, but one thing for sure; it will come to any of us, eventually, whether we are ready or not, it is only a matter of time.
  • When our life in this world ends, we do not bring anything we posses while we live. You may have worked so hard for the whole life, have a successful career, become the richest person on the planet, have a lot of friends or families, but when you leave this world, it will only be by yourself; only your body that will be buried or cremated, alone. We begin and end the life alone; that is something that we must always remember. You may think that you can bring your valuable things to be buried with you, but you will never need that; it will not give any use when you are dead. Come to that reality, remind me to not attach to anything because nothing is permanent in this life, even the life itself.

Life lessons that we should always remember.

 

When the heart changes

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Every couple is unique. Sometimes we see couples who are so different each other, in a lot of ways, could survive in their marriage to last.  But, many couples, as we look them as perfect couples fail in their marriage. Ironically, some of them have known their couple for many years before they settled down, but only stay in marriage life for short time. We as other people, could only wonder and ask question “how can one couple success, while others who we see as a perfect one fail?”

It is the same question I have when someone I know got divorced because her husband wanted to. She is a young lady who has a good job, a good personality, good looking and independent. She grew up as a strong person, independent as she almost can do anything by herself. Attractive not only physically but also spiritually. But, what we can do as a woman when our man started to cheat, not only with one woman, then said that he was not happy with the life he shared with, and wanted to end the marriage? Should we insist to keep the marriage on? Try to convince with all kind of possible reasons that could make him changing his mind? Is there any guarantee that he will not cheat again, if he agrees to not end the marriage? When a man changes his heart and decides to go, what else can we do, except to let him go? The years that have gone, so wasted. Thought that we knew the person who lived with us for many years. Thought that he would truly love us, care for us and never hurt us. How could we anticipate for people who change their heart? We can not control how people feel about us. When love is gone, it is only that person himself/herself who can make it to come back, if he/she wants to. Still, to be cheated on is a painful and heartbreaking. Got divorced is giving you traumatic experience and may change the way you think about other people. But, when it has to happen, there is nothing else we can do, but accept it. Let the painful experience be the most valuable lesson in this life. Let that grief makes you stronger, to prepare the better life to come, as I do believe that it will come eventually.

Note: “dedicated to my dearest friend and all women and men who are facing the same experience as above story”.

 

 

Renungan: “Sebuah Botol”

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Kalau diisi air mineral, harganya 3 ribuan…
Kalau diisi jus buah, harganya 10 ribuan…
Kalau diisi madu, harganya ratusan ribu…
Kalau diisi minyak wangi harganya bisa jutaan!
Kalau diisi air comberan, hanya akan dibuang dalam tong sampah karena tidak ada harganya…

Sama-sama dikemas dalam BOTOL tetapi berbeda nilainya, sebab ISI yang ada di dalamnya berbeda.

Begitu juga dengan kita, semua sama… semua MANUSIA…berdarah merah.

Yang membedakannya adalah KARAKTER yang ada di dalam diri kita.

Ilmu dan pemahaman yang benar akan membangun karakter yang benar.

“Sukses tidak diukur dari posisi yang kita capai, tapi dari kesulitan-kesulitan yang telah berhasil kita atasi ketika berusaha meraih sukses”.

Bila kita mengisi hati, dengan penyesalan masa lalu dan kekhawatiran akan masa depan, hampir dapat dipastikan kita tidak akan memiliki hari ini untuk kita syukuri.

Hujan dan badai akan selalu kita temui dalam perjalanan hidup, namun…

“Hujan besar itu seperti tantangan hidup. Tidak perlu berdoa memohon hujan berhenti, tetapi cukup berdoa agar payung kita bertambah kuat”.

Ingat! Umur itu seperti es batu.
Dipakai atau tidak dipakai akan tetap mencair… digunakan atau tidak digunakan umur kita tetap akan berkurang dari “jatah” yg telah ditetapkan.

“Selagi masih tersisa jatah usia kita, lakukanlah KEBAIKAN sebanyak yang kita mampu lakukan.”

People have short memories

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Have you ever experienced unpleasant things, then had a feeling like dejavu that they have ever happened before? At that time, we could only think why we could not remember that they have ever happened.

The reason is that people have short memories. In daily life, we often experience unpleasant things, but soon we forget about that. When we face the same experience, we realize that we were ever in that situation before, but we did not take it personally then we forgot about that until we experience it again. There are two possibilities why we soon forget about the unpleasant experiences. First; we think that it will never happen again, second; we are easy to forgive.

Second thing is good one, forgiving is good. Why we should bother at small things that only give us heavy thoughts, that is what we think. Life will be easier when we do not sweat the small stuffs, many people say that. However, when we could and be able to remember all the unpleasant experiences, we could anticipate the same experiences to happen again. And if we could prevent the unpleasant experiences, we will not feel unhappy/disappointed about something. That is the most important thing. Lesson learnt today 🙂

When unhappy in marriage

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Marriage is a sacred vow between man and woman; it is an everlasting promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until they die. It is a genuine and pure connection between two people, that can withstand all challenges in life, big and small one. When two people decide to get married, they are sure that they have met the most possible perfect person who can be their partner in life for eternity; they believe that together, they will be able to conquer the world.

Many people have to go through long journey before meeting the right person who they believe are their half one. They have to go through a lot experiences, bad relationships, rejections, lies, cheating and more unpleasant experiences in relationships before ending up to meet the person that they believe the right one. Some people are lucky enough to have known their partner for quite long time before they decide to tie the knot. Some get married to their dearly friend who they known since they were in college, or high school, or even since they were kids. However, they all have at least one thing in common. When they finally decide to get married, they believe that they will spend the rest of their life with someone who they believe are their half one. They celebrate the union with a marriage; an announcement to the world that they are one; they will love, look after each other in any condition. They have pure spirit to start new life together based on not only passion, but most important are love, friendship and respect.

I write that above notes to remind any ones who are currently having a feeling that they are not happy with their marriage life because they are no longer in love with their wife/husband, fed up of their marriage, thinking of having an affair, etc. Remember all the reasons why you wanted to get married from the first place. Remember all the feelings in the beginning when you were in love with your wife/husband. Remember all the promises you have made to your wife/husband when you recited your sacred vows in front of God and your beloved families and friends. Wish all that memories could give you new perspective about your relationship/marriage.

 

Ssst …. It’s secret!

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Secret means something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others. We all have stories that we will never tell; we all have a secret, whether it is a little, sinless secret, or a big, inappropriate, bad, and dirty secret.

The word “secret” is very powerful. That is why people like to use “secret” word to get people’s attention. You may find a lot of books, presentations or articles that started with “secret”, for example: secrets for successful business, secrets to be millionaire, secrets for stay young, etc. The word “secret” has mostly drawn people interest to get or find what is unseen/unknown by others. That is the power of “secret” word.

But, what if the secret relates to you directly? Maybe it is your own sin, your weakness, your affair, or the dirty secret that you want it to be kept from anyone?  The secret that will ruin everything you have built/owned when it’s been exposed. Or it is so sinful that can not be told to any one; it is only you and God who know it, and you wish that you bring that secret till you die.

The thing about secret is as said it supposed to be kept unknown, but we sometimes could not be able to hold it or keep it unknown. We could not bear to reveal it. Keeping secret is a real work. We need to stay alert all the time. Keeping a secret demands habitual denial, which gradually may change into self-deception. In the end it will rationalize our decisions, right or wrong; change the way we live and the way people see about us.

At the other hands, truth brings relief; even though it is hard to bear, unpleasant to think about, and miserable to consider revealing. Life will be so much easier when we are through it without any secret, lies or hidden things. Again, life is about making choices.