Posted in English, Thought/Story

Marriage ….

Marriage. It becomes a status. It is very important, so it will be questioned at every time we fill any application form in. There is always a box/statement with subject “marriage/marital status” we should fill in. And it is very important, so that people keep asking question about it every time we meet at any occasion.  “When are you getting married? Are you married? Why aren’t you married yet? What are you waiting for? Come on ..tik tok tik tok…..” Those are common questions that are always been expressed to any single, not only to women but men over 20s. The pressure is on and on, especially when you are already over 30’s and have a job. It becomes too much when you have owned a house, then a car, etc. It seems like getting married is one thing that must be done for every one, no exception.  Yes, I do believe in marriage institutions. In fact, in my own religion, marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is a chance of falling into sin.

But, marriage is not that simple as meeting people then falling in love. In fact, falling in love itself is not that easy. Marriage is about commitment, long term commitment…  No …long term still has got a due/expired time. I would say it is about the whole life commitment, “till death do us apart”. And finding people who are committed to live with you for the whole life, in bad and good, in health and sick, till you both grow old; it is not easy.

And nowadays, relationship is getting harder. When you live in the world that everything is measured by speed and material things, it is more difficult to find people who is real and being able to be loyal for good.

People change so easily. When you are in love with someone, you will do everything to make them believe that they are the best human in the world for them. You will do crazy things only for them. You promise that you will be there with you always on any conditions. Their eyes and heart…in fact, their world are only for you. Then, one day, time is up, every thing changes. Your heart changes, your eyes see others more appealing or challenging. Then you treat your loved one differently. No more affectionate and warmth looks in your eyes, no more smooth as butter in words, there are only criticism, judgments, disagreements, conflicts and fights. The tense is becoming unbearable when it relates to another people and they want to leave you for that other people.  And if you are too afraid to leave (for any reason), but your love has flown away to another destination,  things become uglier. Your loved ones become enemies, persons who used to be your centre of love become the ones who stop you from giving and receiving loves. You will feel like a zombi with full hatred to live.

Well… maybe that is too pessimistic opinion. Maybe…just maybe there are people who are capable to be loyal for one person in their whole life. They will stay with you even when you are getting old, getting fat, more wrinkle and grey hair, lose your teeth, etc. Because you aware that when your love one reaches that point of age/condition, it is same as you. No matter how they change, they are still same person who you met many years ago. And if you love them many years ago, you will keep loving them, or at least try hard to keep the flame in your heart. That is the real challenge in our love life.

Marriage isn’t about winning. It’s about lasting. ∼ Mark Gorman ∼


Posted in English, Thought/Story

New Year’s Resolution

6th January 2008

This maybe a little bit late to talk about “New Year’s Resolution”, but it is still month of January 2018 and like people say “better late than never”.

Every new year, some of us try to make a resolution. Some people may achieve it, some reach “half way” to achieve it, other probably fail it or forget about it. Then, the next year, when a new year comes again, we make a new resolution (again). And so on …. :).

Is it important to make a New Year’s Resolution? Many people say if we want to start new or good thing, just start it as soon as possible, why do we need a new year or next year to start it? That could be true, but others think that new year could be a good moment to start new things or as a fresh start to set up targets, because we (mostly) have a new spirit or hope about almost everything. It is not only about job/career, family, love, school, habits, but the most of important thing, in my opinion, is about ourselves. We have a new hope that we will be a better person this year and do better things than last year. A new hope that we wish will bring a new opportunity as when we have hope, everything is possible. And a new year as a new chapter of the book, blank pages that are ready to be written as you wish.

So, let’s create the most interesting and inspiring writings about our life on our pages.

Happy New Year!





Posted in English, Thought/Story

How do we know if she/he is “The One”?

The One ….. Is she/he “The One”?. I guess that all singles keep asking that question every time they meet a potential person. How can we identify that someone is or will become our “The One”? People say that love is blind, so we can not or better not rely on only our feeling when decide that someone is “The One”. But, without considering our feeling about someone, we can not say if some one is “The One”. Ideally, head and heart say the same thing when we decide that some one is “The One”. But, ideal condition is very rare to happen in this life.

One time, you meet a person who your head says “she/he is The One”, but your heart says “she/he is not”; another time, it happens the other way around. When that happens so many times, one day we could only think; “Have I made any mistake? Have I missed my “The One”?

If we asked married couples about this “The One” things questions, I am pretty sure that they will say that their wife/ husband’s of course their “The One”. But, when we ask that kind of questions to divorcees, most of them probably would say that they have made mistakes; apparently, his/her ex was not “The One”.

So, back to the original question… How can we identify that some one is our “The One”? How can we avoid to make any mistake when decide whether some one is “The One” or not? How can we be sure that you and someone are meant for each other? Many theories about that, but sometimes theories are not convincing enough :).

A weird question that suddenly pops up in my head in the middle of the night as a result of “eyes could not sleep, while the brain keeps working, this time in odd and silly way”.

Posted in Indonesian, Thought/Story, Tips


Gondongan atau istilah kerennya “Mumps”, lebih dikenal sebagai penyakit anak-anak karena lebih sering menyerang anak-anak. Jadi ketika saya di-diagnosa dokter terkena virus “Mumps” ini, antara bingung dan penasaran bisa tertular darimana, juga sedikit lega (cenderung agak meremehkan) karena dulu ingat waktu masih kecil melihat anak-anak lain yang terkena gondongan, mereka masih ceria dan main-main, jadi saya pikir tidak parah. Sebelum ke dokter juga saya sempat browsing-browsing di internet mengenai virus “Mumps” ini dan obat yang paling mujarab adalah “bedrest”. Namun, ternyata efek gondongan di orang dewasa (yang saya rasakan) tidak seringan yang saya bayangkan! Dulu saya pernah terkena typhus, jika dibandingkan dengan “Mumps” ini, menurut saya “Mumps” lebih berat. Sama-sama penyebabnya virus, harus “bedrest” agar cepat sembuh, namun kalau typhus, sakit kepala dan demam hanya menyerang di malam hari (siang hari tidak terlalu berasa sakit, hanya kadang-kadang sakit kepala) dan masih bisa makan; kalau “Mumps” setiap saat bisa demam tinggi, badan linu-linu/cenut-cenut seperti ditusuk-tusuk jarum, sakit kepala (berat dan seperti ditusuk ribuan jarum), yang paling tidak mengenakkan adalah tidak bisa makan karena tiap mengunyah rahang sakit, belum lagi buka mulut juga sakit :(. Saya pribadi sebetulnya type orang yang suka makan, bahkan dalam keadaan sakitpun, seringnya tidak mengganggu appetite/selera makan saya, ini yang membantu cepat sembuh tiap sakit. Karena masalah dengan “tidak bisa makan” ini, membuat sakit “Mumps” saya jadi lama sembuhnya. Dari pengalaman orang-orang yang saya baca, rata-rata mereka yang terkena “Mumps” sembuh total setelah semingguan, anak-anak lebih cepat sembuh antara 3 – maks 7 hari (malah ada yang 2 hari sudah hilang bengkaknya). Saya sembuh setelah 10 hari, itupun saya masih bisa merasakan bengkak kecil dibawah pipi meskipun sudah tidak sakit kalau saya raba.

Anyway…..bagaimana tanda-tanda awal terkena virus “Mumps” ini? Kronologisnya begini:

Rabu, 1 November

Malam hari sakit kepala (saya minum paracetamol), demam dan badan berasa linu-linu membuat saya tidak bisa tidur sama sekali (saya memang sering ada gangguan dengan tidur/insomnia). Sebetulnya sebelum hari Rabu ini saya sudah merasakan sakit kepala dan badan panas, tapi tidak terlalu saya rasakan. Baru Rabu malam ini yang gejala sakitnya bikin tidak bisa tidur sama sekali.

Kamis, 2 November

Pagi, ada pembengkakan di leher kanan atas/dibawah pipi sebesar bawang putih besar, tidak terlalu sakit kalau saya tekan tapi rahang mulai kaku. Meskipun saya masih bisa makan seperti biasa, saya mulai agak panik, curiga antara gondok (pembengkakan karena gangguan kelenjar tiroid) atau pembengkakan kelenjar getah bening. Malamnya makin tidak bisa tidur karena demam, seluruh badan linu-linu dan sakit kepala makin parah. Saya minum obat demam dan pain killer (paracetamol juga) untuk sakit kepala.

Jumat, 3 November

Ada pembengkakan di rahang (bawah telinga) bagian kiri, sementara bengkak yang pertama di leher kanan belum hilang, malah agak membesar. Sakit kepala dan demam masih terasa, meskipun sudah minum obat, tapi masih bisa makan. Akhirnya menyerah ke dokter juga :)…… dan dibilang kena virus “Mumps”. Dari dokter diberikan obat anti virus (bukan anti biotik), obat demam dan vitamin untuk daya tahan tubuh, lalu disuruh kalau bisa “bedrest”.

Jumat malam sampai Sabtu malam, sepertinya hari dan malam puncaknya para virus “Mumps” berpesta pora karena dibanding sebelumnya, ini yang paling parah. Sepanjang hari itu demam tinggi, cenut-cenut seluruh badan yang bikin kulit ikut sensitif (gesekan dengan sprei saja sudah bikin badan sakit), tapi yang paling mana tahan adalah sakit kepala, rasanya kayak pingin dicopot aja deh hahaha. Tidak bisa makan sama sekali karena buka mulut saja sudah sakit, akhirnya cuma bisa minum banyak air putih hangat.

Minggu, 5 November

Mulai bisa makan, tapi soup encer (saya buat soup yang bahan-bahannya saya blender dahulu baru dimasak). Tiga hari berikutnya makanan saya seperti itu.

Rabu, 8 November

Demam dan sakit kepala sudah mulai berkurang, tapi bengkak masih belum kempis. Sudah mulai bisa makan biasa (mengunyah pelan).

Jumat, 10 November

Bengkak sudah mulai kempis, meskipun muka masih seperti kayak pemeran “Nutty Professor” 😦 .

Sebagai pembelajaran, berikut rangkuman terkait mengenai gondongan / “Mumps” (diambil dari beberapa sumber, antara lain


Gondongan adalah pembengkakan yang terjadi pada kelenjar parotis akibat infeksi virus. Kelenjar parotis merupakan suatu kelenjar yang berfungsi untuk memproduksi air liur dan terletak tepat di bawah telinga. Saat terjadi gondongan, bagian sisi wajah penderita akan terlihat membesar. Penyakit gondongan merupakan penyakit menular yang umumnya diderita oleh anak-anak. Penyakit ini disebabkan oleh virus dari keluarga paramyxovirus. Penyebaran virus gondongan bisa terjadi melalui percikan ludah yang dikeluarkan oleh penderita gondongan ketika batuk atau bersin. Orang yang sehat dapat tertular gondongan apabila percikan tersebut masuk ke hidung atau mulut mereka, baik secara langsung atau pun lewat perantara. Misalnya akibat berbagi peralatan makan dengan penderita atau menyentuh permukaan benda-benda yang sudah terkontaminasi virus dari si penderita. Penularan virus gondongan dari si penderita kepada orang sehat dapat terjadi dengan sangat cepat. Masa rawan penularan terutama adalah beberapa hari sebelum kelenjar parotis penderita bengkak sampai lima hari setelah pembengkakan muncul.

Gejala Gondongan

Gejala gondongan biasanya baru akan muncul 14-25 hari setelah infeksi virus terjadi. Gejala gondongan ditandai dengan pembengkakan kelenjar parotis yang membuat sisi wajah tampak membengkak. Pasca pembengkakan kelenjar parotis, gejala lainnya akan mulai berkembang. Di antaranya adalah:

  • Nyeri saat mengunyah atau menelan makanan.
  • Nyeri sendi.
  • Demam dengan suhu lebih dari 38 derajat Celsius.
  • Mulut kering.
  • Nyeri perut.
  • Hilang nafsu makan.
  • Lelah.
  • Sakit kepala.

Pengobatan Gondongan

Gondongan dapat pulih saat sistem kekebalan tubuh berhasil mengatasi infeksi yang terjadi. Meski belum ada obat yang dapat menyembuhkan gondongan, beberapa cara dapat dilakukan guna meredakan gejalanya, antara lain adalah dengan banyak minum air putih dan menghindari minuman yang mengandung asam supaya tidak  merangsang kelenjar parotis, mengompres bagian yang bengkak dan terasa sakit  dengan air hangat, serta mengonsumsi makanan lunak. Ketiga cara tersebut dapat meringankan rasa nyeri.

Bentuk penanganan lain yang bisa dilakukan adalah dengan mengonsumsi obat pereda sakit yang dijual bebas di pasaran, seperti ibuprofen dan paracetamol, apabila dibutuhkan. Selama masa penyembuhan, dianjurkan untuk lebih banyak beristirahat hingga gejala mereda. Penyembuhan penyakit gondongan biasanya memerlukan waktu satu sampai dua minggu.




Posted in English, Thought/Story

Sadly, you are not the real you!

In life, we often meet people who are not the real person as seen as they appear in front of us. People who seem nice, kind, always smile and speak good things about us, when around us. But, when they are not around us, they talk different things; worse, they are talking about what suppose to be secret that we trust them to be kept safe. How and when can we really trust other people? We have known some people for quite some times and believed that they could be trusted through some our life’s experiences together.  Somehow, over the time, they have changed, sometimes in the way that we could not believe that they could be the person that they become right now. We could not believe that they could talk that way about us; bad things that either they realize it or not, it hurts us. People change, true. I read it often, in fact, I ever wrote that before. But, when the significant changes happen to people which affect us in terrible way, it is really shocking. We do not believe it; feel that it is more like bad dreams that will go away when we wake up. Then, when we realize that it is really happening, we could only think about it sadly; sometimes amaze to see that is the real color of the person who we thought we know for long time.

That makes me thinking, are there anyone who we can really trust completely? After how long until we can see the true color of other people? How do we know that people will not talk bad things behind us or stab our back? Should we always be worry or alert every time we interact with other people? I just wondering ….


Posted in English, Thought/Story

It’s a woman thing !

Name one thing that most women dislike but nervously worry when it does not arrive yet? Yes, that monthly women’s special guest. The guest that comes uninvited every month and to some women give a hard time even before it arrives. It’s like saying, “I am the most important thing in your life and you have to be ready to welcome me”. Many symptoms, both physical and emotional symptoms which called a PMS  that often makes us to put a lot of things on hold as we can not get through the day when it attacks. Acne, feeling tired, trouble sleeping, upset stomach, bloating, constipation/diarrhea, headache/backache, food cravings, joint or muscle pain, trouble with concentration/memory, tension, irritability, mood swings, anxiety or depression, stomach cramps, and maybe more. Those are some problems that have to be taken by some women, if I can not say most women, every month. Some women are so lucky that never experience a PMS, but others get a serious PMS, some may never leave the bed for few days.

I guess it is true what people say that women are special, women are strong human being. Have you ever read the quote says:

” I bleed every month but do not die. How am not I magic?”.

Quite funny, but how true is that?


Posted in English, Thought/Story

Easy like Sunday morning …

Sunday certainly becomes the most favorite day for most people. Wake up late, lazy morning, having a breakfast at the bed with the loved one, or you can just stay in the bed for the whole day, do everything you want to do without any interruption, reading, watching old favorite movie series like Friends (remind me how old I am hehehe) accompanied by a cup of coffee and cake (Sunday is no diet day), or you can spend it on the pool getting on the sun-tan like someone does today at our building pool on the 10th floor, then continue to have an easy – slowly day till end of day. Yes, Sunday is the best day between all the seven days, that is why people creates that words “Easy like Sunday Morning”.


My best favorite time on the easy Sunday is in the night. As I live in the building which integrated with mall on the below, my area is always crowded and noisy, everyday. Night is not always quiet as I can still hear the traffic noise from my 30s floor. Well…Jakarta is never sleep, that’s what people say. Still Sunday is better day. Less people go to the mall, less traffic, less noise. And in the end of the day, on the easy Sunday, when most people are already being at their home, mall’s closed, then I will have a quiet, peaceful and relaxing night.

Have an easy Sunday, everyone!