Marriage. It becomes a status. It is very important, so it will be questioned at every time we fill any application form in. There is always a box/statement with subject “marriage/marital status” we should fill in. And it is very important, so that people keep asking question about it every time we meet at any occasion. “When are you getting married? Are you married? Why aren’t you married yet? What are you waiting for? Come on ..tik tok tik tok…..” Those are common questions that are always been expressed to any single, not only to women but men over 20s. The pressure is on and on, especially when you are already over 30’s and have a job. It becomes too much when you have owned a house, then a car, etc. It seems like getting married is one thing that must be done for every one, no exception. Yes, I do believe in marriage institutions. In fact, in my own religion, marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is a chance of falling into sin.
But, marriage is not that simple as meeting people then falling in love. In fact, falling in love itself is not that easy. Marriage is about commitment, long term commitment… No …long term still has got a due/expired time. I would say it is about the whole life commitment, “till death do us apart”. And finding people who are committed to live with you for the whole life, in bad and good, in health and sick, till you both grow old; it is not easy.
And nowadays, relationship is getting harder. When you live in the world that everything is measured by speed and material things, it is more difficult to find people who is real and being able to be loyal for good.
People change so easily. When you are in love with someone, you will do everything to make him/her believe that you are the best human in the world for him/her. You will do crazy things only for that one person. You promise that you will be there always on any conditions. Your eyes and heart…in fact, your whole world are only for that one. Then, one day, time is up, every thing changes. Your heart changes, your eyes see others more appealing or challenging. Then you treat your loved one differently. No more affectionate and warmth looks in your eyes, no more smooth as butter in words, there are only criticism, judgments, disagreements, conflicts and fights. The tense is becoming unbearable when it relates to another people and you want to leave for that other people. And if your are too afraid to leave (for any reason), but your love has flown away to another destination, things become uglier. Your loved ones become enemies, persons who used to be your centre of love become the ones who stop you from giving and receiving loves. You will feel like a zombi with full hatred to live.
Well… maybe that is too pessimistic opinion. Maybe…just maybe there are people who are capable to be loyal for one person in their whole life. They will stay with you even when you are getting old, getting fat, more wrinkle and grey hair, lose your teeth, etc. Because you aware that when your love one reaches that point of age/condition, it is same as you. No matter how they change, they are still same person who you met many years ago. And if you love them many years ago, you will keep loving them, or at least try hard to keep the flame in your heart. That is the real challenge in our love life.
Marriage isn’t about winning. It’s about lasting. ∼ Mark Gorman ∼