Posted in English, Thought/Story

What does it take for long-lasting marriage life?

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Why do people get married? Most people say because they fall in love, or other may say to settle down and build the family. Whatever reason they have, once they decide to get married, it will need a lot more things than falling in love to make a successful marriage life.

People say it is easy to fall in love. That is why there are some people once ever say “I fall in love at the first sight” and that could be true. It gives sort of illustrations how people can fall in love so easily. When people fall in love, they tend to be blind, they could not see other’s flaws/imperfectness. Every thing looks so perfect for them that they could not imagine if it perceives them, or it is only on their imagination. But, once they get married, they live in the real world. They will interact with each other for 24 hours, 7 days. After days, weeks, months …at the latest in two years, they eventually discover the real person of the one who once they dreamt of to sleep next to them every day. They finally see the real things, see their flaws, the weakness, the imperfectness that were looked so perfect. They can hide nothing.

When they come to that point, they face for what the real marriage life’s meaning. Some may question themselves if they were really falling in love, or if they really had a good reason to live forever with their couple.  Live forever with one person….forever means until one of them is no longer living.  They wonder if they were really in good state of mind when did the vow and committed to the words as “till death do us a part”, find themselves doubting their own feeling for that person. It will feel like self-awakening that could bring the marriage life either to the next level of stronger relationship or back to “zero point”.

At that time, the only way to make the marriage life last if they could start to build the love again. And have to work on it every single day and never give up. The work that is the hardest part of marriage life. Could they still have the love when they are angry to that person? Could they forgive and still have same feeling after big fighting, or maybe worse..infidelity? That is real thing about marriage.

Looking for life partner can be started by falling in love, but long way after that, the biggest part in making the marriage life last forever is building the love and maintain it, working on it day by day, till the time as they promised to each other before “death do us a part”.

Posted in English, Thought/Story

When inheritance becomes a problem


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When we are talking about inheritance, whether it involves big amount of money or small one, high value of assets or very less ones, most cases are causing problems. Especially in the countries where there are many uncommon/unusual things to do relate to inheritance issues, like in Indonesia, such as:

  • Not making any Will before died. Some people may aware that making a Will is very important, but some others think that it is not necessary.
  • Many believe that it is not fine to talk about inheritance while parents still alive, even though if it is only to remind them about this issue.

Because of those things, problems arise when parents pass away. Fighting between siblings, conflict between nephews or nieces and step children (they claim that they have right over their uncle/aunt’s assets because the uncle/aunt did not have any biological child), sibling who takes parents’ money/assets without others’ acknowledgment, and a lot more cases. Many cases even cause unfinished conflicts, or worse can cause people to commit a murder. So, when this horrible thing happens, who should be blamed? Should we blame parents who did not prepare for a will? Should we blame the people who can not think or act fairly and lawfully? Of course there will be sanctions/punishments for any one who commits unlawful acts. Still, that kind of terrible thing is so unfortunate to happen; and that could be anticipated in advance.

Therefor, to parents …. it is nothing wrong to be ready with a Will. It will make things easier for your children. It will anticipate them from fighting or creating conflicts over money. To children, who have been left without any will … there are many important things in this life, family is one of them that should be in the most priority other than money, so, try to always put family over money, and, try to always think/act fairly and lawfully. That will keep your family stay together.


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Posted in English, Thought/Story

We can’t choose our families …


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When we were kids, we never understood about adult world, we even never known what kind of adult we would become one day. Some children are lucky enough to have warm, caring and supporting parents. Parents who know how to raise children, have good value, and understand what are the most important in life. The kind of parents who know how to prepare their children to face the cruel world one day, make them strong, independent, yet still have big heart and love for others. I think children who raised by this kind of parents are very lucky. But, not all children are that lucky. Some have negative influence, abusive or selfish parents. Instead of thinking about their children, how to raise them to become good, independent and loving persons who have great value of life; this kind of parents just think only themselves. They just focus on themselves, their existence, their own happiness and wellbeing. Need only one parent of this kind of person, will possible to ruin children’s life in the future.

But, we as human beings were born with common sense and mind. When we grew up, we learn about what are right and wrong. We can choose what kind of person to become. Traumatic experiences may not easy to heal. Negative influence or abusive behavior from parents may leave us a mark or affect our future life. However, we own our life and we can choose how to live it. Some people grew up and become just like their parents, be as selfish or abusive as them, and say “this is what I know, this is what my parents taught me”. But, you know what….? You can do better. You can be a lot better than your parents. You can achieve more. It is your choice. It is your own life. You …the one who can decide what kind of life you want to live it, not your parents. Yes … you own it. You should always remember that.