Posted in English, Thought/Story

What have the past taught you?


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Rumah Luwih Beach Resort & Spa, Bali

I have been asked why I write about cheating, unfaithful relationship or other related issues on the blog. Well …. I am not an expert, in term of relationship professional therapist, nor an expert by experiences. But, there were things that inspired me to write about this.

It was one time, very long time ago when unpleasant experience happened to me. A lady was mistakenly accused me as another woman of her husband. Even though, she finally realized that she made mistake, but she has said many terrible things. The words that made me questioning not only my attitude and manner, but also my perspective about a lot of things, the way I did my job, the way I said, the way I acted, the way I dressed, the way I did make up, etc. That experience made me sad for months. Oddly, I didn’t blame her as I knew she was right about her husband, eventually. I could understand her behavior. In the end, I made peace with myself and told that I was just in the wrong place and time. Still, I always remember of the day she called me furiously, asked a lot of questions which I even didn’t know how to answer because I didn’t feel nor do whatever she accused of. In the entire of my life, I never felt so confused about anything, so much like puzzle that I couldn’t response but crying. I was so naive that I didn’t have any clue about the matter she was furious about at first. A few strange words at the end of her rage call made me to think that she would probably just have learnt about her husband’s infidelity and thought that I was his other woman. That happened in 2000, and I could only share about that experience lately.

Then, there is this thing. I know many people who have been cheated on and suffer by that. Some people do whatever it takes to keep the relationship. It doesn’t matter if it means that they have to beg, close their eyes for their partners’ unfaithful acts that displayed intentionally, be patient for all the heartless words they receive, and many more painful situations. While I admire of their big heart, I also feel sorry that they allow themselves to be in that position. But, who am I to judge other people’s decision? Some people decide to finally leave that broken relationship as they realize that it can no longer be fixed. Whatever decisions they make, being cheated on is heartbreaking.

Many people say that we can’t control with whom we fall in love, but love doesn’t mean that you have to destroy others’ relationship. Love doesn’t mean that you can hurt other people feeling. Do you want to be happy over someone else’s misery? What do you feel if that turn to you one day? That’s what they called a “Karma”.


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