Painful Realities as Another Woman

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I always believe that all people have good side in their heart. I believe when women say they never plan to be another woman. I believe when they say they’re trapped in the situation which they never meant to be in it intentionally. They have fallen so hard that they can’t imagine to live without him, even if it’s only his spare time. And many more unplanned or unintended reasons to validate her situation as another woman. But, life is about making choices and we own the power to take where our life goes to.

In term of that, to another women, or any woman who will become another woman unintentionally or by choice, this is not to judge about your decision, but these are some facts to remember as another woman:

You will be kept hidden.  Being another woman means you always be his “dirty little secret”. Secret rendezvous, stolen text messages/email and other conditions that you have to follow to keep the relationship under wraps. You will never go out on dates in public. It doesn’t matter how great he is as a lover and how beautiful his words when you are both within closed doors, but when you are in public, you will be treated as strangers.

You have to deal with society’s judgment. As another woman, you will have to deal with the stigma of society. They will blame the other woman as “home wrecker”, “sl*t”, etc. It doesn’t matter how and why the affair happened, or who starts it first, the other woman always be the one who got blamed.

You always be alone. Being in a secret relationship means you can’t claim him as your couple. To public you are single. You go anywhere alone, you do things alone.

You have to play the “waiting game”. As another woman you will never be able to initiate things, you can’t call him any time you want, you can’t plan when to meet him. You will always have to wait for him to spare his time for you. You live on “stolen moments” or “borrowed time” which are only available upon his free time or his agreement.

You become the “meantime girl”. Being another woman means you will never be a primary, you always only be an option. There’s never talk about future where you in it.

You have an expiration date. This is perhaps the most frightening about being the other woman. The entire affair could end as abruptly as it started. This means you probably even won’t have any closure, at all. This would make the situation even more painful since you cannot even go back to how it was before, especially if you have already fallen for him. The broken heart, feeling been used, worthless …. they will not be easy to heal soon and affect your future life.

With all these possibilities of life damages that will consume your entirely emotions, why do you still want to put up with any of it? It’s very rare possibility that another woman become the priority/the first woman. Even when that happens, how can you be sure that he will not cheat on you one day?

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