Ending a relationship is hard, whether it was your decision or the other person’s decision. You may be dealing with painful emotions and want to deal with those feelings as quickly as possible. There are several ways that you can work through your painful emotions and start to move on:
- Fully accept that it is over. This is the hardest but most important step in letting go of a past relationship. If you are not aware and admitting to the fact that it’s over, you won’t be able to process the grief and loss. You need time to get in touch with your pain and understand your feelings. Acceptance is a form of closure that you should acknowledge.
- Give yourself permission to grieve. Set amount of time to deal with this emotions, to let go of your anger. Let yourself cry, scream, or whatever you need to do to get your negative emotions out. One of other good methods to get all of your feelings out is to write them down on the journal everyday until you feel better. In my own experience, cry to God was always be a powerful way to ease the heavy heart, for any reasons.
- Remind yourself of your ex’s negative traits. Remembering on all of the things that you don’t like about your ex can help you to get over the break-up faster. Try to make a list of all of the things your ex did that you did not like.
- Consider the reasons why you are better off without your ex. In addition to reminding yourself of everything that bothered you about your ex, you can also benefit from thinking about the positives to your breakup. Make another list of all of the reasons why you are better off without your ex.
- Remove painful memory triggers. There are all kinds of things that remind you of your ex––a song, a smell, a sound, a place. Having these items around can make it harder for you to recover from a breakup. Remove all of the things that make your heart ache or your stomach turn. If you have a keepsake, such as a watch or piece of jewelry that was given to you by your ex, there’s nothing wrong with keeping it. But for the time being, try putting it away until you have gotten over the relationship.
- Cut him out of your life completely. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away completely from each other right after the break-up. This means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages, no Facebook, and not even stalking on every social media of his/hers. You don’t have to have stop talking forever, but you do need to cut all communications for as long as it takes to get completely over your ex. If he/she tries to convince you to see him/her, ask yourself honestly what the point would be. You may have to have some contacts in order to deal with the practical aspects of things like moving out, signing papers, etc., but try to limit this to what’s absolutely necessary, and then keep such calls/meetings polite and as short as possible.
- Surround yourself with those who love and support you, like family or friends. The ones who will help you to feel good about yourself again and see yourself as a worth-while person.
- Fall in love with your own life, again. Find your passion, refocus your energy and live life to the fullest. You may have given so much of yourself to the relationship that you neglected yourself and your favorite things. Being single again gives you the opportunity to be who and what you’ve always wanted to be. You can accomplish a lot while single. Take advantage of that new life, new you!
- Remember that every failed relationship is preparing you for your dream relationship. Some people come into our lives for a brief period of time to teach us a lesson or show us to a new way of thinking. While you may have loved someone, and continue to do so, they will likely not be the only person you will ever love. If it is supposed to happen, it will. You don’t need to beg someone to love you or care for you, in the way you do for them. Open up yourself to the possibility that this ending is the beginning of something far better than you’ve ever experienced before. Believe that there is not always a “one true love” for everyone.
“Heal the Past, Live the Present, Dream the Future”